From this title I am sure you are expecting some kind of Carrie Bradshaw monologue… well, I’ll try not to disappoint.
I come from a family where I am considered a prude. My mom always told me to put on more make up or show off a bit more of what I was given. (in a loving and endearing way) My parents will be the first ones to tell you that the best vacation of their lives happened at Hedonism. Through the lens of my life, I am downright puritanical.
I have friends, female friends, who are open about their love for pornography. Who use their favourite porno as an icebreaker at parties… I have never been that girl. As a woman with more curiosity than I can manage, I have explored that world. I have looked at images and films meant to arouse and I feel that my imagination along with the real stories I have read from the porn production world do not allow me to disassociate enough to enjoy such an enterprise.
I prefer my eroticisim in long form. I love the story. I want to see the hesitation and intimacy of holding hands for the first time… the slow lingering first caress of hidden flesh. I want a story that I can close my eyes and imagine my self in. With the written word as opposed to something that is image based… It’s possible. I am able to imagine MYSELF, instead of a busty blonde in cake face makeup and a neon g string… Reality, is sexy.
I have a healthy sexual appetite, (sorry to the family reading this who still see me as a blonde 7 year old obsessed with free willy, but honestly lets free that willy, amiright?) I am NOT a prude or a puritan. I have seen the buzzfeed posts of pornstars before the make up and prefer those women. I understand the want for beauty, but the narrative needs to change… The moments I feel sexiest to myself and my partner are when I feel the most like ME.
I just spent a decent amount of time arguing the merits of erotic fiction and why it has mass appeal to women and I think a huge contributing factor is the freedom of imagination. I feel that with the written word we are more able to imagine ourselves as the protagonist in the story. I feel that if we saw more blank slates or at least a version of ourselves and our wants in erotic content there would be a much larger audience.
I am a white, straight woman in Canada. I am privileged. There are so many more important things for people to fight for… I feel that accurate representation of all women in all our forms is a small thing that can lead to a greater understanding. Right now we see only a few facets… lets seek more, less lacquered versions. There are thousands upon thousands of women who marched today wanting more… there are many battles, both big and small that are still waging for woman in every kind of world the earth provides. Let’s stand together and ask for more.